There are often times when something bothers me and I shrug it off, saying "it doesn't matter" when it actually does...because if it truly didn't matter, there would be no need to reinforce my indifference. I can remember doing this ever since I was a child, in an effort to minimize what was bothering me, [...]
Sometimes your sissy sends you a card in the mail and it couldn't be more perfect. I don't think it's entirely intentional that social media has become a highlight reel, but I do feel we've lost the depth of honesty that comes in all the layers of the human experience when we just talk about [...]
PUBLISHED ON ELEPHANT JOURNAL Sometimes it’s easy to forget that he’s dying. Or rather, perhaps, it’s hard to remember that, some day soon, he won’t be alive. You’d think that the reminders would be in each moment I walk with him, as his friend and as his caregiver. Getting up multiple times in the middle [...]
*Originally published on Elephant Journal* Sometimes it’s easy to forget that he’s dying. Or rather, perhaps it’s hard to remember that, some day soon, he won’t be alive. You’d think that the reminders would be in each moment I walk with him, as his friend, and as his caregiver. Getting up multiple times in the [...]
PUBLISHED ON ELEPHANT JOURNAL We’ve probably all seen the Zen proverb “let go or be dragged,” and maybe even groaned a bit as we resonated with the concept. Yet how many times do we still find ourselves hanging on for dear life to a person, belief, situation, or even past event, as we are dragged [...]
*Originally published on Rebelle Society* I’m mourning the loss of this fairy tale relationship I now know I will never have. I’m finally surrendering the vision I’ve held in my mind’s eye: He’s holding my hand we’re laughing in bliss I feel the sunny rays of his complete acceptance of all that I am. I [...]
*Originally published on Elephant Journal* I want to sing a song to my body and direct it to the parts that ache; its melody seeking out the places inside of me that creak and groan, that shift and shiver, that have gone so long untouched for not being recognized, for not being held in love. [...]
I wake up this morning, wiping the sleep from my eyes and the corners of my lips. As the mental fog clears, I remember that today is Mother’s Day. A quiet tension begins in my belly, crawling up toward my heart, born of the obligation attached to this holiday. It’s pushed along as I roll [...]
PUBLISHED ON ELEPHANT JOURNAL There once was a time, not so very long ago, that I endeavored to make you need me. Finding ways to be invaluable to you, I’d become utterly necessary, completely indispensible. I’d found all the holes in your floors, your squeaky wheels, your cabinets hanging off their hinges; I’d searched out [...]
I felt you in the bookcase, a shadow walking along its wide, deep grains. Wiping my hand over the oaky marks, the eye-prints trapped within the wood, I saw you there, you spoke to me, you whispered my name. Dipping the brush into the cherry-colored stain, its acrid smell swirls in my nostrils as I [...]
